Giving Thanks

Giving Thanks:

Here in the United States we celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving.  This typically involves gathering together with our extended family – parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, etc.  We cram all of our psychosis, neurosis, and all our other –osis, into one little house and the emotional fireworks put the literal fireworks display on Independence Day (July 4^th) to shame.

Thanksgiving at my parents’ house is that kind of emotional powder keg. I’m the youngest of four siblings and even though I’m now nearly 50, married, have three kids, and a Master’s degree – my Mom still finds a way to seat me at the “little kids table.”  These days my other siblings are scattered across the country so we don’t get together for holidays much anymore, but when we did it was always… interesting.  I’ve shared with my wife that Dr. Phil (TV psychologist) could do an entire series on our family ‘dynamic’ and it would probably send his ratings through the roof and send him to the nuthouse.

Family is messy.  There’s history…  like the time when I was about sixteen and thought I was big enough to boss my oldest sister around.  I quickly realized my error, but by then the descriptive noun I’d hurled at her was out – as were her teeth… literally.  As Mom walked through the front door Sis had sunk her teeth into the arm I had around her neck.  I thought, “Surely Mom will break this up,” but I was wrong.  Sis removed her teeth from my arm just long enough to tell Mom the word I’d used…  Mom, in her Irish brogue, said “Ah Kevin, that wasn’t very nice now was it?” That was the extent of Mom’s intervention. Sis would go on to win several trophies in martial arts competitions. I always felt sorry for the other women matched up against her; thinking “If only they knew they’d run away right now.”

Family is messy.  There’s history, hurts, tragedies, memories, and victories we’ve traveled, mourned, and celebrated together. As dysfunctional as my family is – they’re my family.  I might go six months without talking to my brother, but I know that if I ever needed him – he’d be on the next flight.  Despite all the hurts and headaches I caused my parents growing up – I know that I’ll never have to sleep under a bridge or go without a meal as long as they’re alive.  That’s family. It’s messy, but priceless.

Jesus showed us to what extent He was willing to go for us as His eternal family.  Ephesians 5:25 tells us “Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”  The Cross isn’t a neat and tidy doctrine contained within the pages of seminary books.  The Cross is the pivotal moment of human history where our Savior’s blood – and very life – was poured out for the Church.  Hunks of skin ripped from His body as he was scourged… hair matted with dirt, blood, tears, and sweat beneath a crown of thorns…  nails the size of tent spikes driven through His wrists and feet…  His lungs filling up with fluid…  thirsty, abandoned, mocked, rejected, despised…  All done willingly for her – His Bride.

Jesus didn’t go to the Cross for your personal salvation to be stashed in a box and stored away in the dusty attic of your life – only to be pulled out at the pearly gates of heaven like a season pass to Disney World.  Christ gave Himself up for the church – the family of God.

Family is messy, but that’s no excuse to go rogue and think it’s perfectly okay to be a “Lone Ranger” Christian. If you’re rationalizing not going to church by telling yourself, “My relationship with God is between me and Him,” then you have no relationship with Him at all.  Scripture tells us that the entire Christian experience is summed up in one command, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Gal 5:14). Try doing that alone.  You can’t – exactly.

Maybe your church family was/is dysfunctional, maybe they’re down-right offensive, maybe they keep putting you at the kid’s table, maybe somebody said something that hurt your feelings… Did you ever tell that person?  Matthew 5:24 tells us that before we can offer anything pleasing and acceptable to God we are to be reconciled with the members of our church family.  In Monopoly terms that means apart from reconciliation you’re stuck in jail, you don’t pass “Go,” and you don’t get to collect $200.  You’re stuck in the funky jail of anger, bitterness, animosity, or apathy.  All you’ve managed to do is exclude yourself from the vehicle of Christ’s grace and redemption on earth, i.e. the Church. Go take care of that today.

Romans 12:18 tells us, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” And in 1 Corinthians 1:10 we read, “I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.”

There are some good churches out there.  As a friend of mine once said, “You may have to go through a dozen bad apples to get to one good egg.”  Noodle that for a while.  Don’t endure at a church simply for the sake of enduring.  If you’ve sought reconciliation with the person/people involved who have hurt/offended you – then pray to God for permission to look for a new church family.  If the church where you are attending isn’t involved in equipping you for service – as every authentic Christian church should – then pray to God to either give you a profound ministry within the context of that church – or to lead you to a new church family.  Read Proverbs 2:4 and Matt 13:44. Put more effort and energy into finding a solid Christian church than anything you’ve ever done before – and the reward will be immeasurable!

If you’re resting on the age-old excuse, “I don’t go to church because churches are full of hypocrites,” consider how hypocritical that statement is.  Take some ownership in the faith that you claim to have in Christ and fight for the Bride that He gave Himself up for – either do that or put yourself at the top of that list of hypocrites. Remember Jesus' story about the plank of wood in your eye...

Even if you don’t live in the United States or celebrate Thanksgiving as a holiday, you can still express thanks to our LORD and Savior, Jesus the Christ.  Get involved in the only thing He gave Himself up for – the Church.  Don’t just join the one that is convenient, or that has the music you like, or has an entertaining preacher, or some other thing that suits your fancy.  The exclusive measure of a church is fullness of Christ.  If you’re not sure what that means – read my previous blog titled “Christ’s Fullness.”

Find a church that is deeply involved in equipping and training the saints (that’s every Christian) for the work of ministry/service. Volunteer at a church that desires to invest in you so that you can participate in building up the body of Christ.  Invest in a church that understands our unity is the very thing Christ prayed and died for as essential for our witness to fulfill the mission of God – taking the Good News of Christ to a lost and dying world.  Become an integral member of the Body of Christ that has moved on from infancy to full maturity in Christ.

Family is messy, but that mess – sourced in our selfishness – is redeemed and transformed within Christ’s Bride for the praise and glory of God as we die to self, pick up our cross, and follow hard after Him.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,

since as members of one body

you were called to peace.

And be thankful.

-Colossians 3:15

Blessings and thanksgiving,

-Kevin