Before Daybreak:

Before Daybreak:

Reminders are an incredibly powerful thing.  Sometimes it’s an object, sometimes a sound, sometimes a person or a situation.

Simon-Peter is one of the most well-know of Jesus’ disciples. Peter’s authenticity allows us to identify with him still today. After Peter correctly identified Jesus as the Christ (Matthew 16:16) Peter was subsequently corrected by Jesus (16:23) for attempting to disrupt Jesus’ road to the Cross.

The night of their final meal together (Last Supper) Jesus predicted Judas’ betrayal. Soon after Jesus explained that all the disciples would abandon Him, saying “Tonight all of you will run away because of Me…” (Matt 26:31), but Peter objected vehemently, “Even if everyone runs away because of You, I will never run away” (26:33)! To this Jesus responded, “I assure you tonight, before the rooster crows, you (Peter) will deny Me three times” (26:34)!

Before daybreak it happened. Peter denied even knowing Jesus three times. Scripture tells us that after the rooster crowed Peter remembered Jesus’ prediction. Then “he went outside and wept bitterly” (26:75). Imagine how terrible a reminder it would be each and every morning for the rest of Peter’s life being awakened to such a POWERFUL reminder – ‘cock-a-doodle-doo!’ “I denied Jesus.”  Then remembering Jesus’ words, “I assure you tonight, before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times!”

But Jesus didn’t leave it there. Judas betrayed Jesus and then hung himself. Peter denied Jesus and might have been driven to the same fate apart from God’s gracious intervention. Peter denied Him, the Cross happened, the tomb was found empty and Jesus was seen alive – risen from the grave! But Peter was still left with a perpetually haunting daily reminder of his denial every morning at daybreak – ‘cock-a-doodle-doo!’  “I denied even knowing Jesus.”

Imagine reflecting back on three years of doing ministry alongside Jesus Himself. Imagine how heavy the burden Peter carried for his hubris and ignorance, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never deny you” (Matt 26:35)! So Peter did what any man might do, “’I’m going fishing,’ Simon Peter said to them” (John 21:3). Scripture doesn’t tell us Peter’s motivation for going fishing all night ’til dawn, but I wonder if it might have been because there aren’t any roosters out there on the water. Daybreak came and Jesus called to Peter from the shoreline and Peter immediately plunged into the waters when he recognized Jesus’ voice.

Jesus intervened. Jesus didn’t owe Peter, or any of us for that matter, anything prior to the denial.  Jesus certainly didn’t owe Peter anything after it, but out of His gracious love He intervenes. When we read John 21:15-17 we find that Peter’s former hubris and self-delusions of personal strength and character fortitude are gone. Peter was clearly shocked to discover the harsh reality of who he was as events unfolded the night following the Last Supper: Peter found out that he was a weak-minded, selfish, friend-betraying, Christ-denying chicken. That’s what a genuine relationship with Christ does – it causes us to be faced with the ugliness of who we are independent from Jesus.

During the days since that fateful night Peter had clearly done some serious soul-searching and found that he wasn’t even a shadow of the man he thought he was.  Every dawning day that relenting shrill reminder came a-new, ‘cock-a-doodle-doo!’ “I denied even knowing Jesus.”

So Peter went fishing.  Maybe it was to clear his head or maybe it was to fall-back on something familiar and comforting.  But after spending the whole night out there come daybreak he didn’t have so much as a single fish to show for it.  Maybe Peter was feeling defeated, maybe Peter was feeling lost and alone, maybe the thing that used to bring him comfort and joy (fishing) was a new source of frustration and defeat, but just then Peter heard Jesus and had to be with Him. Maybe he remembered Jesus’ words, “Apart from Me you can do nothing.” Maybe Peter remembered watching Mary bask at Jesus’ feet while Martha was frantic in the kitchen. What we do know is that the arrogant and delusional Peter was gone, so when Jesus asked, “Do you love (agape) me?” All Peter could do was answer honestly, “You know that I admire (phileo) you.”

Before that night Peter really thought he loved Jesus, but it turned out that when it was going to cost him something he couldn’t even admit to knowing Him. Loving Jesus means the same for us as it did for Peter. It’s not about being tough in a moment and drawing a sword. Jesus, God, doesn’t need our protection. Jesus told Peter, “Feed my sheep.” That’s what loving Jesus looks like. None of us are tough enough, none devout enough, and certainly none are holy enough. Jesus said, “Apart from Me you can do nothing.”

Before daybreak each day we all have a new opportunity to either be like Old-Peter: in denial of our inability to do anything of any value apart from Christ –OR– to be like New-Peter: vividly aware of our own flaws and insufficiency. Peter never again said the words “I love (agape) you” to Jesus.  What Peter did was spend the rest of his life walking with Jesus to express that agape-love.

Jesus still intervenes in the lives of those who drop the act and feed His sheep.

Blessings,

-Kevin M. Kelley