Worth Nothing

Worth Nothing

Paul wrote it. “In spite of all that, I consider my life worth nothing…” (Acts 20:24). That wasn’t some superficial veneer of melodramatic lip service. For Paul that was the reality beyond the pretense of the world.

Because of his encounter with the risen Christ (Acts 9) the Christian hating, persecuting, murdering Paul (known as Saul then) had the eyes of his heart opened to the only authentic reality - Christ and Him crucified.

In John’s gospel we read “As the time approached for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem” (9:51).

Similarly, in Acts 20:22-23, Paul wrote, “I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me.”

In spite of prison, abuse, floggings, stoning, and all kinds of hardships Paul, like Jesus, resolutely set out for Jerusalem - not because there is something magical about Jerusalem, but because that’s the course and service Lord Jesus had plotted out for Paul.

Paul didn’t hesitate and think, “What about my needs? What about my legacy? What about my business plan? What about that trip to Jamaica? How much are people going to value me? How am I going to be received? Is there a decent profit to be made?” Not at all.

Oswald Chambers notes, “Acts 20:24 states Paul’s almost sublime annoyance at being asked to consider himself; he was absolutely indifferent to any consideration other than that of fulfilling the ministry he had received.”

So in spite of NO uncertainty, but the absolute certainty of rejection, ridicule, prison, and hardships - Paul wrote, “...I consider my life worth nothing of myself, if only I may complete the course of mine and the service I received from the Lord Jesus - to testify fully the gospel of God’s grace.”

Sanctification is the process by which Lord Jesus brings those whom He loves to a place where we, like Paul, truly believe my life is worth nothing of myself.

The stuff we hold onto in this life, the hurts, the expectations, the fantasy… all those things become our idols as they pull us away from the course and service we have received from the Lord Jesus - to testify fully to the gospel of God’s grace.

I’m writing this not as a lecture or even a sermon, but a confession. I’ve held on to hurts, expectations, and a self-defeating fantasy of what I deserve in this life for far too long. I’ve allowed it to wreck numerous relationships, job opportunities, and ministry opportunities.

Being able to separate people’s response to us from our love for them is what distinguished Jesus in resolutely setting out for Jerusalem. It’s what allowed Paul to say “In spite of all that, I consider my life worth nothing of myself, if only I may complete the course of mine and the service I received from the Lord Jesus - to testify fully to the gospel of God’s grace.”

“While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

It’s not about acceptance, approval, reception, or endorsement from people. It’s about being a vessel of God’s grace DESPITE prison, DESPITE hardships, DESPITE rejection, DESPITE crucifixion.

God’s grace isn't merely about loving the unlovable without ever counting the cost, but rather in spite of it.

Blessings,

-Kevin